Humor on the net: The Jackass Hook | Cardinal Path Blog
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Humor on the net: The Jackass Hook

People love a jackass. They love to talk about jackasses. And even more, they love to show other people how much of a jackass some one is. They will tell their friends. They will tell their family. They will post links on message boards pointing at the jackass. And that’s where it comes in. The Jackass hook. An unreal amount of links from people who want nothing more than to tell other people about how much they hate you.

Disclaimer:

While we will take credit for any links you receive as a result of these guidelines, we take ABSOLUTELY NO responsibility for anything else. This includes bad press, hurt reputations, angry partners, lawsuits, bankruptcy, death threats, and actual death.

  1. Troll blogs and leave your link in your post. Bonus points if you troll them for not nofollowing their comment links.
  2. Sue a big company claiming that you own the patent on something inane. Short for ideas? Take a que from Microsoft and patent something like displaying numbers within a box.
  3. Sue some one small, like a little girl.
  4. Claim to be the real Kanye West. Then die or something.
  5. Post cartoons of famous people doing obscene things
  6. Sell a product on Ebay, then declare that people didn’t big high enough and refuse to honor it.
  7. Link to people with insulting GA campaign variables, then leave your website as “source”.
  8. Send out reciprocal link requests asking for ridiculous spammy anchor text then wait for people to write blog posts about you (no wait that doesn’t work).
  9. Create an attractive-but-fake Plenty of Fish profile and tell lonely men that you will sleep them if they link to your website. Afterwards reveal that you’re a man.
  10. …then write about what losers they were.
  11. Release the passwords of every Hotmail user in a text file.
  12. Censor Wikipedia entries on prominent political figures.
  13. Create a contest for prominent bloggers and offer an iPad as a prize. Then when some one wins don’t give them the prize.
  14. Write negatively about a company you work with while openly being paid by their competitor.
  15. Call out another company in your industry for building links in a way that you think gives them an unfair advantage, getting Google to cancel the linkjuice from it.
  16. Take a popular, recently published piece of content and re-post it as your own work.
  17. Expose some ones secret life in a shocking expos

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